Making Rape a Spectacle

Rolling Stone recently published an article documenting the horrifying, gut-churning and sadly, not entirely surprising details of a sexual assault on Jackie, a UVA student, whom was attacked in 2012. While the article has attracted much needed attention to the problems associated with assaults on campuses and the frequent failure of responsible parties in handling the matter, there are a lot of problems that bothered me while reading the article.

If you haven't read the article, I suggest doing so but with side notes to consider. Firstly, Jackie's story is her own. It a story that should be told with reverence and the way that she wants. But I have a major issue with the way the story is present. It continually reiterates the "good girl" concept. Her lack if interest in drinking is noted. Her clothing is remarked on as modest and tasteful. She is relieved of any blame in the matter. The problem is that it simply does not matter. We already have a rampant issue of victim blaming. What was she wearing? Was she alone? Was she drunk? We have to stop caring. The problem is that this article wants you to know that she was dressed modestly, was sober or relatively so and had not "asked for it" in any way. The fact is, it didn't matter what she was or drinking. And by making sure all of society knows she did not provoke it, it is implied that anything revealing or associated with drinking probably would have made her somewhat responsible. It is sort of a backhanded way of victim blaming, as if to say, "Don't worry, she was not drunk or dressed slutty, so there is no reason she is responsible."

I would also like to remark on the note that UVA does not have any "radical feminists" trying to overthrow patriarchy. That's nice. Thank God the rampant issue of sexual assault on campus has not caused those ball-busting feminists to uprise and demand a smidgen or respect. 

While fraternities play a large part in assaults, it is important to recognize that they do not create rapists but may simply encourage a hyper masculinity or mentality and behaviors that may encourage someone to commit assault. Getting rid of them may help the problem but it is important to note that rape happens outside of fraternities too. The article seems to make it a one-dimensional issue. I am not disagreeing that fraternity houses are the perfect set up for the perfect environment and mentality that may encourage or make it easier for a predator to assault, it also is not the only thing that is a factor. And faculty, student attitudes and societal attitudes need to change. Also, people should simply not rape other people. But dumbing it down to a problem of merely fraternities is not the right avenue. It is noted that handling of the assaults by faculty is a problem but we should bare in mind that eliminating fraternities does not eliminate rape. Eliminating rape culture eliminates rape and fraternities, generally, are just a portion of that. Also, I have met my best friend at a fraternity house and he is one of the best men I have ever met. I would like to note he is a self-proclaimed feminist and can explain to you who Jessica Valenti is. So, it is not fair to make the he-is-a-frat-boy-so-he-is-an-asshole-rapist claim.

Later in the article girls are described wearing crop tops and being "sloshed" (So poetic). It also remarks on a girl who was assaulted previously and noted that she was virgin. You know, because it mattered what they wearing and if they were intoxicated and how many people they slept with before. 

I praise the story in some ways. It is a testimate to an incredibly brave woman who has decided to speak out against the system. It brings to light the massive problem of sexual assaults on college campuses and the lack of police and faculty participation or even interest in dealing with the matter in many cases. There are wonderful things about this article. It is a story that should be read with reverence and respect. It is a story that should be listened to and taken in slowly. I think it needs to be read though with the author's own voice in mind and while it is a story to be shared and respected, it does not tackle the issue of sexual assault on campuses perfectly and entirely. 

The most important thing that I think we need to recognize is the fact that to some extent, this is violence sensationalized. Maybe that is a part of any kind of story like this. And that does not change the fact that it needs to be shared. However, we need to make sure that as we read it, we read it with respect and sure that we are reading it to listen, learn and then do our part to change the problem. We tend to flock to stories of tragedy and particularly violence. I think we do it sometimes because we like to sympathize with people. I think sometimes we do it because we want to be moved to feel something. I think that other times we do it because we want to get close to this unimaginable and heinous sadness or tragedy without it actually touching us. We bear witness to someone else's pain without it actually affecting us directly. I think that as this important and powerful narrative is told, we need to make sure we have the right motives.

I've been a fan of the show Criminal Minds for a long time. When one of the main characters left the show several seasons in, I researched his reasons for leaving. I found he had decided not to do the show anymore because of the increasing awareness of his contribution to the sensationalization of violence. Instead of focusing on raising awareness on issues pertaining to sexual assault, it simply made it a spectacle, a source of entertainment. He remarked on the fact that people were coming home to watch the show, unwinding from a long day by observing gruesome rapes and murders. I think this concept manifests in our culture in many ways. I think it happens with stories like this. I think we need to be more aware of it. 

A recent video of a father singing "Blackbird" to his dying son in the NICU, following the death of his wife who died in childbirth is a prime example. The video captures the final moments of father and son beautifully. I respect it. But I wonder sometimes why we are so interested in this tragedy that it has gained millions of views. I think we are so interested for the same reason many will read the Rolling Stone article.

I took notice of the article and appreciated it because I am a feminist and I have a particular interest in this issue. I think there are a lot of people who will read this article without any particular interest in the issue but more of an interest in the story. It is something to gawk at and something to respond to. It is simply a stimuli that serves as a reminder as the terrible things in this world that exist next to us but did not directly happen to us. That is why some people will read it.

I have an incredible amount of respect for this young woman's story and I praise Rolling Stone for publishing article that focuses on this terrible problem that I have been passionate about changing for a long time. I praise them for calling out people, a University and a problem that have needed to be called out. But this story needed to be done the right way. It enforced rape culture concepts of good girl and bad girl and asking for it. It makes rape on campuses a one dimensional issue of fraternities and faculty. And as I read, I appreciated the way it was done, the effort that was made and this young woman's courage, all the while worried at the sensationalization of the story that would inevitably occur. I think that that is just a part of things like this. These stories need to be read, understood, respected and shared. But the thing is, we need to make sure that happens in the right way. We need to make sure these stories are told in the best way. And we need to make sure that with things like this, especially with assault, that we are reading and sharing them for the right reason. Next  time you click a video, share an article or start a conversation about someone's tragedy, make sure it is out of compassion and hope for change, rather than out of sheer interest, making it a spectacle. 

A response to anti-feminist young women-

If you are a woman in the United States, you are often times going to receive less respect than you deserve and less respect than your male counterpart. Sometimes this will be openly expressed to you because with the pay gap nearing 34% in some states, you will lose tens, if not hundreds of thousands of dollars to a male in the same position of you, entirely on the basis of gender. As you get older, that pay gap will get even worse. In your workplace, you will find that if you are in a position to make decisions and command respect, many will call you “bossy” or a “bitch,” while a man doing the same thing will be deemed a leader. You will be taught to have a guy with you at night when walking places because men respect other men. This idea becomes unconsciously engrained in you as it becomes natural for you to tell a guy who is bothering you at a bar that you have boyfriend instead of truth that you are not interested, because he will respect that there’s another man around, rather than your own opinion, which could insight anger. When you go jogging, you will pile on multiple sports bras and a loose t-shirt but even then will catch uncomfortable glances and cat calls, because you are not given the respect of a human being, but that of a zoo animal. 

If you are a woman in the United States, there are a lot of people who do not value you as a human being. Your worth is often times measured by your appearance and purity. Rather than being valued as a person, you are valued on particular qualities. Many of you will grow up being taught, either for religious or social reasons, that your ability or willingness to remain “pure” makes you more eligible for marriage and more worthy in the eyes of others. You are expected to remain attractive and appealing at a young age. You will be burdened early on with the expectation to be beautiful. Anorexia is the 3rd most  common chronic illness in adolescents. By age 13, 80% of girls have already tried to lose weight. To many, these qualities measure your worth. Instead of focussing on school or character development, girls are told to also focus on an unattainable standard of physical attractiveness. Your “hotness” and virginity are commodities to be traded and standards of measurement. One day, as your body changes or you make any sexual decision, you will innately feel as though your value has dropped. It is because you are taught your value is contingent upon your body and what you do or do not do with it and how it looks. This concept, along with issues like sex trafficking and objectification of women, leads to a world where women themselves are commodities to be owned, traded and used. 

If you are a woman in the United States, your gender is an insult. Boys will be taught not to be “sissies” or “girls” about things. Teenage boys will be taught not be “little bitches” or many other terrible and vulgar terms pertaining to the female body. They are told to "man up." Girls will be taught not be bitches and numerous other gendered and offensive words. Think about the terrible words we call each other. All of them are words about women. Little girls are not condemned for being a tomboys but fathers fear even a remotely feminine son. The worst thing that someone can be, either male or female, is a female. 

If you are a woman in the United States, some people and sometimes society will try to make you a victim. Let me clarify, you are not a victim by nature, but society will threaten you with it and possibly make you one. You will be taught early on that it is your responsibility to prevent rape, rather than teaching people not to rape. Society will not protect you, but tell you that it is up to you to protect yourself. You will be expected to never walk alone, drink too much or dress in a revealing manor. The burden is on you. And if you are assaulted, instead of praise for being strong and coming forward, people will speculate and bring your character into question. What society will not teach you is that often times the danger lies within your own home. Approximately 67% of the time, assaults against women are committed by someone they know, rather than a stranger. Yet society will tell you it is primarily going to happen in public and that either way, it is your responsibility to prevent violence against you. When violence does occur, it is your character that is questioned. Because women begin to fear reporting assaults only 40% are actually reported. Even then, 97% of rapists will never spend a day in jail. As a woman, the system is not set up in your favor and it certainly is not neutral. Many changes must be made, such as placing blame and expectation on the perpetrator rather than the victim, and supporting women through the process rather than speculating and questioning character. 

If you are a woman in the United States, you are taught dislike your fellow females. You are taught that women are mean and dramatic. In junior high, girls will fight with other girls, all the while trying to impress boys. You learn not to work together, but to compete against each other. Women are not to be collaborators but competitors. You will want to identify as a "guy's girl" because other girls are so "bitchy," mean, or fake. We use words to put each other down that insult our own gender. Instead of working together, we work against each other, making it impossible to get ahead. We are taught early on that that is simply the way it is supposed to be. 

If you are a woman in the United States, you have little to no say over what happens to your own body. While assault is a lingering threat that takes from control from you, you lack control in many other ways. Of the people voting on your reproductive rights, right to earn equal pay and many more bills concerning the rights of women, only 10% are actually women. If you are assaulted, 26 states will require a waiting period for you to have an abortion if that is what you want. In 31 states, a rapist is allowed to sue for custody rights. Your body is a political battleground. It is a public matter. In 2014, there were 468 proposed bills concerning women’s bodies and the rights concerned with them. In all of history, there have not been any concerning the bodies of men. People are legislating your body and most of them are not even women.

For those of you women who not identify as feminists, making it a point to clarify that, or do not believe you need feminism, I want you to understand a few things. You need to understand the disservice you are doing to not only yourself, but to fellow females everywhere. This has nothing to do with hating men or believing you are better than the opposite sex. It is about believing you deserve equal opportunity and treatment because you are a human, rather than discrimination because you are a female. You may think these women are just jaded or angry, but you are wrong. Their eyes are just open. One day someone will discriminate against you, hurt you or crush all sense of equality on the basis that you were born female. It is then that your eyes will be open also. It is then you will no longer slander feminism. One day you will realize that you need it. It is then that you will like it. You are not equal and there are people who may not want you to ever be. It is ugly and mean. But it is the truth. It is dreadful. So when I lay awake at night and wonder how we are still at this point, I realize that it is because we are not all working together. I realize that it is because we need more men advocating and we certainly have to have all women advocating for women. The problem is, there are those who do not believe feminism is important or that they need it. They do not align with it and sometimes even condemn it. It causes the system to fail for all of us. For those of you who believe you do not need it or have a misconception about what it is or what it means, understand that you are hurting your fellow sisters, mothers and friends. You are hurting us all. The truth is, the fact that we can not all stand together, as women, on a common ground, is further evidence for the need for feminism. The fact that we are divided is devastating. I ask you, do your research, listen, ask question...learn. As I hear young women in my classes clarifying that they are not feminists, often times in the same way you would explain you are not racist, as if feminist is a dirty word, my heart breaks, and I feel one step further from reaching equality on the basis that I am a human being and an American citizen. If you are a woman in the United States, you do need feminism.